My Mother Line.

At my Grandmothers 90th

Been quite some time since I wrote here… I have been processing the death of my Grandmother, and what that means to our family. Other health scares for our family have been fielded too, being present to them, the only thing that anyone can do.

Life. Tis ours to live as we can, not always as we choose it may seem, but perhaps we do choose, on some level, even if we just choose to ignore.

Gran died only a week after Seven Sisters. So, in lots of ways, I’m only just returning from there too, which was such an intense time as well.

As most of my work is about the bounty and beauty of being a woman, losing the Matriarch of our family hit deeply, perhaps much deeper than I thought. She was 95, this photo from her 90th was really her last real party. T’was her legacy that has been huge to bear, the stories of her, so much larger than life, than that tiny fragile woman laying so very still.

I was the only one of my generation that spoke at her funeral… I truly needed to. I am posting my words here in honour of her, my Granny Anne…

A Eulogy.

To let go…  to listen within… to let the grieving begin.

To turn and face the pain… the fear… to recognize the powerlessness to change this… for this is death… an end… a pathway closed beyond our vision… beyond… She’s gone…  She’d been going for quite some time… but seemed to need to linger… as long as she needed… As I accept the permanency of this corner turned, this leap across the divide made… I turn… and I invite you to, too… to focus upon the life lived by an invincible woman… a no nonsense, maybe not the best with children, take no shit, powerful woman…

When I really met her, in my 20’s, when there was no need for her to be responsible for me, I met the woman… the free spirit that flew off to Hawaii… that lived and loved Africa deeply… the writer, like me… only a little like her. My grief, as different from yours, as all of us will be… we all have such different views, perspectives, experiences of her… we would all have brought forward different parts of her, for her to experience…

I give thanks to the wonderful woman that made my wedding cake… That shared her wedding day in the beautiful Dandenong’s… I am grateful for the woman that would sun-bake nude no matter the noise of terrified teenagers… I give thanks for the stories I tell about her, tell myself and others of how courageous and power-filled she was… I give thanks for the truth of how fragile her strength was and how dependent she became and how that never seemed to diminish her absolute authority of her life… She know what she wanted and would have it thank you… for this I am grateful. That from her, this woman, loved me… as she loved all her family, fiercely… An era has closed… as the next generations flow… Her daughters, granddaughters, and great-granddaughters, present, we all share that power now… as she has passed the baton… not that her son’s and grandson’s and great-grandsons are not cherished, nourished and loved but perhaps what they carry is a respect for women instilled by her… and to be fair, I never really knew her in partnership… But the legacy of a strong woman, is stronger daughters, granddaughters and great-granddaughters…. As we lay to rest our Matriarch, I am grateful to have known, loved and been loved by my Granny… May you rest in Peace Granny.

 

As I am learning to call myself a writer, as she described herself, I realize that there may not be harder words to write than a Eulogy for someone we love… Two weeks ago she arrived in my dreamscape, as I remember her from my 20’s, full of freedom and artistry. In the dream she was helping me achieve something… I am beginning to feel that her presence on the other side of my life is already bringing such power. May your Mother Line be clear and strong.  If not, then come and sit with me, for this is part of my life’s work.

Tap your Shoes together Three times!

 

Red Slippers you can Make?

There’s no place like home, there’s no place… you get the story… the one where the power to take ourselves home has always been there, within us… and it IS.  So, for ALL of us that felt like “home” at Seven Sisters Festival, please remember, that home, lives within.

Integrating back into our lives, after a big opening, can be a bit hard… how does one fit back into such a small place? There are all sorts of theories,  from “make your world bigger” to, “don’t try and fit”…or “let all that you know dissolve, that you may start afresh with all this new found self!”. We do it after Confest, we do it after summer, we take all this open self and try an put it into a closed system… one that is stable and quite fine thank you… well, what every body knows of you… complete with all the agreements you made to keep the status quo… but, if I may, part of what has opened you is that the status quo is far from serving you, and/or the earth.

It’s not a throw away line, to truly wish you know yourself held in circle, because I do… Truly wish for EVERY woman to know themselves held in circle, like the ones we all felt at Seven Sisters. Can we imagine that? Women everywhere with a core self intact, heard, held and seen on a regular basis… WOW, that would be awesome. That is what I call women empowered.

If there was ever an impetus to create circle, it is this longing for what we just touched, the sisterhood that touched us. I know I am not waiting for a whole year to sup from that chalice again! By being in my circle, indeed bringing to my circle what I felt during the Seven Sisters Festival, I am held open, safe in my openess.

So, make  your list, set a date, offer the space… allow yourselves to drop deep down into the mama within, the womb of earth. Create a safe circle, make it confidential, keep it respectful, honour yourselves and each other. Be kind. Step in and surrender to your circle of sisters… and just like that, three taps of your shoes together, and your home!

 

http://www.craftsy.com/pattern/knitting/accessory/143-one-skein-sweetheart-slippers/1212  To make those lovely slippers above!

Seven Sisters Brewing…

I adore this image, but can’t find a source… if you know it’s origin please let me know!

Getting a whole lot of exciting feelings… messages from buddies I haven’t seen for ages that are going to be there… writing lists so I don’t forget anything… working madly to finish that which I said I would! A surprise of deep offering for my sisters, for my souls uttering’s, a gift I hope that will reach a long long way! you’ll have to wait like every body else… I’ll give you hint though… those that know me, say she inhabits me… sometimes.

I love this feeling of anticipation. These moments of building what it is that is our individual states we bring, knowing we are bringing it to Her, to our Sisters, to being Woman, ALL of HER! I love this almost as much as I love the being there…SOON!!

I am delivering a small moment, in the morning of Saturday, a time to hold open the Building of Blood Space that can change your life.

This is the learning to die, to surrender, to release… that will, every cycle, have you walking clearer and stronger in the truth of you. As we each listen to the real life within, we can define the noise and illusion of without, as not us, not ours, not applicable. By building blood space in our psyche as well as our physical world we are opening to something that becomes more kernel truth than ephemeral idea, interesting theory or external understanding.

Building Blood Space is more than an altar, more than the 2 hours a cycle that you can spare, it’s bringing more value to the experience and finding that this voice has real relevance and importance in your life, in ALL our lives.  As we move through a series of moments that will help you shed the fears of death, part cultural, part hardwired, we will eventually find ourselves in the real deep part of where we can live from, dripping with the realness of Her, Mama the throbbing state of love and death that ALL life exists and thrives in. Please, come and play in that which is the honesty of the Good Black Earth.

I truly hope that you give yourself permission to be at Seven Sisters Festival, so many delicious women I know and love are going to be there, as well as some incredible women I can’t wait to meet!

Tis very very rare for this many tasty good women to gather in honour of being women. Not excluding men as much as including women, bringing our selves to a whole woman state, in profound celebration for all that can mean!!
Viva La Mama… and all that call Her home!